Leaf blower? It must be Wednesday

“Leaf blowers to right of them, leaf blowers to left of them – into the valley of death rode the six hundred!”

With apologies to Tennyson, I must admit that there are few sounds more detestable than the gasoline-powered leaf blower. On Wednesday my southbound neighbor’s gardener toils, leaf blower raging at full bore, a whine so loud that if my window’s open I cannot talk on the phone. On Thursday my neighbor to the west is visited by her lawn care purveyor, and I am subjected to yet another high-pitched, full-throttled leaf blowing extravaganza.

What’s to say about the fumes, the noxious particulate-laden highly toxic gas-fed cloud of poorly burned fossil fuels from a two-stroke internal combustion engine that should have been junked years ago? It’s a testament to durable replacement parts that these simple engines last well beyond their expected lifespan. Corroded, filthy and oil-stained, they may outlive most of us.

It is long past overdue that these devices of a profligate and gas-wasting era were retired. Perfectly workable alternatives exist; electric blowers are far less noisy, and while copious amounts of dust and debris are set aloft, the absence of exhaust and high-decibel operation favors them. There is always the humble rake, of course, an elegantly simple and flexible instrument of many sizes and materials. Rakes have the distinct advantage of kicking up little dust, being quite efficient, make a delightful swishing noise that typifies the history and dignity of human labor, and do not stink. Let’s not discount the rake’s added advantage of providing some modest aerobic activity in this age of American obesity.

Might I add the venerable broom to the discussion? For some surfaces, the broom is made right to order. Parking lots, patios, driveways, street curbs, decks, foot paths, pool surrounds…all these lend themselves smartly to the broom. As with rakes, brooms are varied in styles and materials, and share most of the gentle and neighborly benefits of the rake. Between rake and broom, most any issue pertaining to leaves is easily accommodated. It’s yard work, after all, not manufacturing.

The primary objection to outlawing the gasoline-powered leaf blower seems to be economic. Some proffer that rakes and brooms are too slow and inefficient, that large spaces will require more labor and expense. In our economy, this is true, but that is because we continue to place no monetary value on peace, quiet or the cost to society of burning fossil fuels. If these matters were allocated the legitimate weight they deserve, if there were a tax or fee for using a gasoline-powered leaf blower based upon these criteria, then the economic calculation would be vastly different. As it is, we suffer from the worst aspects of our individualism; “I’ll do what I like to save time or make profit and if others suffer, it’s too bad for them!”

As I write this I’m looking out onto my patio, at present an untidy space covered with leaves. Should I decide to rake and sweep, it will leave me sweating and my back will ache from stooping. When completed, despite whatever pride I’ll feel, within a week leaves will be scattered across the yard. This is the nature of living with trees.

You may spot me; I’m that graying gentleman with a broom quietly gathering his time.

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